"What Makes You Feel Empowered?"
A new “challenge” took Instagram by storm Monday and similar to the black square, I found it to be problematic. The idea was to post a black and white selfie of yourself with the caption “Challenge Accepted“ in an effort to lift up other women. The trouble is, it doesn’t do much. “Empowering women” is a phrase that is full of nuance and to think it could be simplified to a cute selfie and a hashtag is problematic. Without even going into the fact that this challenge rewrote an already existing (and effective) challenge for cancer survivors or that the original Turkish hashtags reference domestic violence and femicide. I think we need to step back to define what being “empowered” looks like. In order to know what empowering women looks like, we have to define it. In order to understand what it doesn’t look like, we define it. I understand the perspective of those that consider the challenge a harmless way to support friends in the midst of what feels like the world imploding around us. I really do. However, in a year where we encourage leaning into tough conversations around our own perspectives, it should be ok to point out the obvious which is that this challenge branched from its original purpose and no longer pushes any conversation forward. It feels empty. There are so many ways to support and empower loved ones. So, I asked on my stories “what really makes you feel empowered?” I compiled a list of all the responses, in no particular order.
The idea of “empowering women” is something that takes daily unlearning and intentional reflection. The next time you want to lift up a woman in your life, consider checking this list to remind yourself of what it looks like to feel empowered.
“What makes you feel empowered?”
When someone purchases my product.
A friend who disagrees with me wanting to understand the issue instead of argue
Other women supporting my dreams.
Friends who understand my love languages.
When I seal a deal for a client.
Reaching and exceeding my goals!
Accomplishing things that surprise me!
Being a stay at home mom.
Crop tops
When I leave boys on read.
When I pay off a loan.
Keeping my plants alive.
Loving my body.
Powerful women and female characters who didn’t need a man to make them great.
Being ok with my own self when no one is looking.
Speaking up for a cause I believe in.
Breaking the cycle of familial anger that goes back generations.
Launching my site.
Overcoming fears and at the same time not being afraid to fall.
Following my links.
When someone manifests as fruit of my obedience.
Having (girl) friends who 100% support and cheer for each other, no cattiness or drama!
The day I registered my brand name.
When I get stuff done.
AOC’s speech about the language men regularly use and how we allow it.
Choosing to stay home with my babies.
When a company accepts my pitch and hired me for a project!
Having others positively support and uplift me.
Sticking up for myself.
Having friends who don’t gossip.
When my kitchen is clean.
When my hard work is acknowledged.
Educating myself. Both for me and so I can speak powerfully an extend what I’ve learned onto others
When my children eat food I cook for them.
Running faster than before!
Reaching a goal I stuck to.
Feeling proud of who I am today and what I have overcome.
Starting my own business.
Being out of bed for 12+ hours.
Making the choice to begin a family.
People who actually commend on a post or respond to the caption in a relevant way instead of “ooh nice pic.”
Doing something that’s always interested me but scared me - challenging my fear.
When people truly believe in me.
Raising my son and having a front row seat in watching him grow into a great human!
When someone buys something I recommend.
Saying "no.”
When my hard work is recognized.
Having friends I can talk to openly.
Being able to share my words and thoughts to both process and encourage others.
Voting.
