How to Take Care of those Dealing with Heightened Anxiety During Self Distance

Mar 16

While we all navigate this new and bizarre reality together, I want to quickly remind you of those who deal with anxiety. They need your help too and may not know how to ask for it.

Generalized anxiety usually comes with a long list of other symptoms, often including heightened obsessive compulsive and depressive tendencies. Isolation almost always makes these symptoms worse. While self distancing is important for our communities right now, it may be hurting some of those you love without you even knowing about it. Here are a couple quick tips I encourage you to keep in mind on how to check up on your loved ones who struggle with anxiety.

Give Permission for Transparency

Go beyond the usual “how are you” and lean into a bit of discomfort. Verbally (or even through text/any social media platform) make it clear that you love them and you give them permission to call or text you if they need to. Don’t just give them permission for emergencies, meltdowns, a few too many drinks late in the evening, but for the small things. It’s the seemingly small, insignificant things that tend to spiral into something larger. Establish clear (and realistic) guidelines to those you love that you’re available and able to talk, text, facetime or be there for them.

Check On Them

This isn’t as simple as it feels. Be intentional with checking on those who are struggling. We’re all living our own lives and sometimes accepting a simple “it’s fine” or other quick answers are enough for us to move on. I encourage you to take 10-15 minutes a day to intentionally talk to someone outside of your home. Whether it be through text, DM, a video call, etc. Depression and anxiety tendencies are already difficult to spot and often those dealing with it are pretty much professionals at keeping it hidden. We know that. While we’re all rethinking what a normal “routine” looks like right now, try to incorporate intentional time checking on loved ones into your day.

Go Deeper than “Rely on God”

Do I agree with relying on prayer, meditation and God throughout all of this? Of course. Do I think it’s helpful to post a photo simply saying “God is bigger than COVID” (or anything along those lines)? No. If you’re going to post about prayer, about reliance on Christ, etc, then please be willing to go deeper into the conversation with practical applications on what that looks like. Everyone’s anxiety is different and simply saying “rely on God” or “prayer” can often be the equivalent of telling someone “don’t be anxious” or “don’t be sad.” Be ready to have detailed conversations and be aware that phrases you may consider harmless or even positive, may actually be dismissive of others.

Keep Scrolling

If someone is posting asking for suggestions, ideas, encouragement, please . . . please do not ask them to be more positive. See something you disagree with? Please do not shame them publicly on their feed/comments or yours. If it’s something you really feel strongly about enough to comment, send a DM instead and keep it private. We’re not responsible for the actions and reactions of others, but we can control our own. In times of uncertainty, let’s encourage people to share with their online communities rather than disparaging them.

Talk About Anxiety

Open that door. Talk to those you love and find out how what their symptoms look like. Do you know if the ones you love have depressive episodes? Do you know how their OCD tendencies present themselves? Are there behaviors that you’re able to keep an eye out for via text/phone conversations? How does their anxiety effect their sleeping and eating habits? Dive deeper into the topic of anxiety and what it looks like for them. If you struggle with similar tendencies, share what that looks like for you on a practical level. Normal looks different with social distancing and knowing the habits of your loved ones and how isolation could effect them can make a huge difference. This all goes back to the first couple points of being intentional with communication and giving that permission to do so on a deeper level than the usual chat.